Reframing the Attitude Around Querying

A little mindset shift that helped me when finding an agent

A few months ago, I posted a note that went viral. Lol, okay well, viral to me. (88 likes felt like a lot!)

On July 25, I said: 

Maybe an unpopular opinion about querying a novel — yes, it’s a lot of waiting and frustration and strategy. BUT now that Im in the thick of it, I wake up every day with a new found sense of excitement. Anything can happen today! Something exciting could be in my inbox at any moment! ✨

Based on the comments received, this note seemed to resonate with many people, and so I wanted to expand on this now that I’m on the other side, having signed with an agent at the beginning of the month. 

I feel as though it is easier to relate to people when we are complaining or when we frame something happening to us in the negative. We are very afraid of bragging! 

For example, when saying that you are querying your book, (which, let’s just pause because you wrote a whole damn book! And you are about to show it to agents! Two huge things!), its normal to then sort of shrug and say, “I hope something happens,” or “we will see,” or “here I go into the querying trenches.” We dull our excitement and suppress our enthusiasm. 

And I get it. Sometimes, we aren’t in the right kind of situation to blast someone we don’t really know with our positivity. Saying, “I’m going to get an agent! No matter what!” might feel uncomfortable or awkward. 

But you can definitely say these things to yourself. 

In the last piece I wrote about my journey to find an agent, I mentioned that I never allowed myself to think I would not get the agent. I knew it would take a lot of time and effort, and I knew that I had no control over the outcome, but I also knew there was no point in thinking that it wouldn’t work out. I spent hours editing my query letter and opening pages. I researched agents and learned as much as I could about the querying process. I read and reread each agency's guidelines. I followed my intuition. If I was working this hard and doing everything to the best of my ability, what was the point in thinking I would fail? 

Every day, I was in a place of possibility— there could be a manuscript request or offer letter in my inbox at any moment!—and I used the adrenaline that mindset fueled to keep envisioning what I wanted. The offer letter, the agent call, the day I could say I’m an agented author. At the beginning of the week, my writing partner Tamar and I would text, “It’s Monday!”— a signifier that agents are back at work and we might hear from someone soon. Mondays became something we both looked forward to. 

This subtle mindset change helped me with the frustration that accompanied the waiting and the rejections of the querying process. Yes, it feels like you are in the trenches when you wait weeks and months to hear back about your most prized work of art. But the “trenches” don’t have to shape your attitude. The “trenches” don’t have to be your daily experience. 

I tried to reframe the sting of each rejection as validation that this wasn’t the right agent for me. If I couldn’t fail, then that agent couldn’t have been the one for me. Trusting in this mindset (in this process!) and my internal confidence allowed me to stay positive, even when rejections—or, worse, no responses—accrued. 

Because, after all, there is no reason to doubt. 

There is only possibility ahead.

Good luck! <3

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