I’ve become one of those people who say “If I can write a novel, then so can you.”

On giving writing advice

Last weekend, my sister and our cousin came over for a girl's night. We ordered takeout and hung out in my living room for a few hours, talking and mostly laughing because that’s how these things go with us. 

My cousin is a writer, too, and has begun working on a novel. She is hoping to expand on a short story she wrote a few years ago. We talked a lot about how she thinks the story could grow, the character she is building, how she can find her way into the container that will hold the plot. I found myself getting giddy on my side of the couch, sitting up straighter, offering my suggestions. She expressed her frustrations with her perfectionism, which makes the drafting stage so hard. We talked about the shitty first draft and I encouraged her to just do it— push through and get to the end. 

“You have to write this novel,” I kept saying. And I truly meant it. 

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Since my latest revision, the one I talked about here, I have finally begun to internalize that the goal that I sought out has been met: I have written a novel. 

And while it is easy to dismiss this—because well, I still have another revision to do, I still have to get an agent, there is still no guarantee of publication— I have forced myself to take in the accomplishment as best as I can. It’s been a dream of mine for so long, one I fought for during the many times it seemed like writing this was impossible. And in that way, plus so many others, I feel that writing this novel has changed me. I feel more confident in my fiction writing abilities. I have a firmer grasp of story. I know I have the stamina to devote over three years of my life to one single project. I feel expanded. I feel changed. 

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In this conversation with my cousin, I realized I had actual advice to give her. I think sometimes we get so caught up in this idea of being an expert in something. I’m not a “published writer,” so what do I have to say? But really, the way I see it anyway, you only have to know a little bit more than the person asking for advice. While my cousin is on her first draft, I have gone through five drafts. I have the wisdom of what those pages taught me to pass on to her. I felt overjoyed to be able to talk through these challenges and discoveries with her. Writing has that hold over me— I never tire of discussing it. 

“If I can do it, you can,” I said, chuckling a bit after the cliche came tumbling out of my mouth. 

But I wholeheartedly knew she could do it. I want her to. I want her to tell this story, and experience all that novel writing can teach. The joys, the sufferings, the finding of puzzle pieces, the untangling of plot points, the relationships built with characters. Even though I have had a few episodes of sobbing at my desk over the years, and I’m sure she will too, the process of novel writing will always outweigh the decision to give up. There is too much at stake. There was for me, anyway. 

We hear so much about how hard writing is, and it is. It’s really fucking hard. But man, the feeling of a completed project. Or all the surprises that come along, in the writing, in the plots, in your own abilities. Or the possibility of getting the work out into the world for others to engage with— I’d choose that any day.

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If you have any questions for me about novel writing, I’d love to answer! Ask away!

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