"Trust in the process" might sound like a cliché but it's so damn true

I wrote 4 drafts of my novel. What now?

Last week on Notes, I announced that I completed the 4th draft of my novel. It was ceremonial because it was the first draft that felt like a complete book to me. One without “TKs” and missing scenes and plot holes. It is also my longest draft, coming in at 96,000 words. I received a lot of love on that post, which felt wonderful. I tend to finish something, look at the project as a whole, and think, well, I still have so much more to do. There will be more rounds of edits and maybe even some plot restructuring. But everyone’s congratulations and happy wishes reminded me it is a good thing to stop and celebrate these milestones, especially when a milestone like this took me three years to achieve. 

Now that I’ve entered, as

Graham Strong

commented, “the strange, ragged netherworld between “finished” and “published,”’ I’ve been doing some reflecting on what I have learned. Not only about novel writing but also about myself — a novel writer. 

Writing a novel is about trust. Trust that you have an idea you want to explore. Trust that you will be able to make the time to develop that idea. Trust that you can sit with that idea for years and years. It is about trust in yourself as a creative. Each time I make a plot change that might involve deleting thousands of words. Or when I think maybe this character is not necessary, even though I love him. Or when I think Act One needs to be completely rewritten (yes, I have been there many times), I’m making a choice, and I’m putting all my trust into that choice as I hit the delete button or move entire paragraphs over to the “maybe come back to” file.

As someone who abandoned a lot of projects or short stories in her youth, this has been one of the biggest mountains for me to overcome.

Print out your novel. Always. Feel it’s weight.

I’ve learned to trust my own taste. What do I like in a novel? What is the aesthetic, type of dialogue, or characters that I’m most attracted to as a reader? It was difficult to split these two sides of myself, especially when buried in a pile of craft books like I was at the beginning. I wanted to know exactly how to do this until I realized there are many ways to write a novel. So now I have to ask how I want to do it. How do I want to write a novel? 

It's a scary question to ask when, again, you have to trust your own answer and commit to years and years of work. But I think it has made me a much stronger writer. Or at least one who knows she has the stamina not to abandon something when it gets difficult like I had in the past. I guess that means I’m growing.

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After writing draft 4, I realized no drafts are made equally. Each one was completely different. Maybe not entirely in subject matter or story, but in what they showed me. For example, the voice of this novel didn’t come through until draft three. And then it just hit me like a punch in the face. 

“Here she is!” I said. My narrator finally showed up.

My writing completely changed after that because she was guiding me. My scenes came alive. My character’s interactions were less cringy. I was finally seeing the events of the story through her eyes and telling it in the way only she would tell it.

I think this is what has kept up my momentum. Even though starting a new draft always feels intimidating, it also excites me. What will this one show me? What layers will it peel back?

*

I worked on this last draft diligently from September to January. There were some chapters or sections I completely rewrote. I added a completely new ending, one I’m not entirely sure is working, if I’m being honest. It was a lot of work squeezed into early mornings, in the afternoons after meetings, or sometimes even before bed. It was a lot of trust that I wasn’t wasting my own time. But mostly, it was a lot of feeling compelled to come to the page. Even though this story has frustrated me and left me in tears a few times, I still want to tell it, and I want to tell it well. I’m still obsessed. 

What’s the plan now? 

I sent draft four to my writing partner, Tamar. I’ve written about our amazing partnership before. What we have is special, and I don’t know if I could have kept up this trust in myself thing without her kind words and support. She will be the first person ever to read my novel, and I’m so ready to have someone else’s eyes on it. As obsessed as I am, I need this time away and to hear about someone else’s experience with my work. I’m leaving for a vacation with my husband tomorrow, and when I come back, Tamar will send me her own novel draft. We plan to spend February reading, and then we will give each other feedback.

Another big moment to celebrate.

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I have a few announcements! 

We just started a new writing workshop experiment at Write or Die! 12 months, 12 instructors. 12 new workshops (and a lot of them are free). Check it out here.

I’m also very excited about our Spring Write Together Retreat lineup. Tamar and I run these retreats together! If you are a mom, we have a special one designed for you featuring Aimee Suzara. In April, we will be joined by Elle Nash and

Sophia Hembeck

for a day of writing and a craft chat about how they balance both the business and creative sides of their writing life. They will talk about how they support themselves through multiple income streams and how, using Substack, social media, Patreon, and other ways, writers can develop ways to support their art. Sign up here.

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